Hi everyone and welcome to my first instalment of my new series ‘Let’s Talk About‘ (LTA)’. After receiving a lot of requests of subjects people suggested I should talk about, I decided there’s no better way than to put it down in the BLOG. In this series (uploaded fortnightly), I will be sharing with you my thoughts on different topics ‘incharlotteseyes’ i.e. to show you my take on topics through my eyes.
Just as a lil’ disclaimer, topics may be sensitive, deep or controversial (as well as light-hearted and fun!) but this does not mean my views are correct nor do you have to believe or agree with them.
Enough of the jibber jabber. Today’s topic is all about CHANGE. I thought this might be relevant with results day and a new academic year looming on the horizon.
Change. Whether it’s a new career, school, relationship, a personal change or watching someone else change, it’s an inevitable thing. Whether we like it or whether it’s for the best, it’s something every single one of us is going to go through at some point in our lives. You may fear change, fear the unknown or you may embrace it and learn from it.
”Be the change that you wish to see in the world”– Gandi
Having been to numerous different schools, moving to different areas, starting university and various other life changes I’d like to think I’m a pretty adaptable person now. I love change, I don’t like the thought of constantly being stuck in the same routine and place for the rest of my life. I try my best to take on every new change with a positive outlook. If I’ve encountered a negative change, for example losing a family member or my brother moving to Australia (not that this is negative as it’s amazing for him but it’s a change as a family we’ve had to adapt to not having him around- especially at Christmas!), I like to look at the positives rather than dwell on the negatives too much. Losing a family member is always going to be tough so I try to think of the happy memories that I will cherish and feel they are now at peace if they have suffered from illness. With my brother moving to Australia, this has been an amazing life changing experience for him and I’m already thinking about the plane ticket I’ll be booking for next summer to go and visit him!
”I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination”
Watching someone change, whether it be for the worse or for the better can be another scary thing to encounter from your own perspective. Obviously, if it’s a severe change then it may be best as a friend to speak up and just give a gentle reminder to the person if they are unaware of what’s happening. Relationships can often change people, whether it be for the good or the bad is obviously dependent on the people involved however, to one person in the relationship they may be so oblivious to the extent that the relationship has changed them. This can also be similar to adapting to friendship groups in school where through ‘pressure’ or feeling the need to fit in, an individual may feel the need to change (fortunately for me I have never felt the need to change in order to fit in with a certain group and was aware of staying true to myself and not pretending to be someone I’m not!).
“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself” – Leo Tolstoy
Feeling the need to change yourself for the better can also be a scary life experience. Reaching out for help, speaking out or anything similar can be a personal and scary change but usually speaking out in an attempt to better yourself will usually end in a positive outcome. Wanting to better yourself is a positive change, something you should embrace. Even something as small as changing your hair can be scary but something we should welcome with open arms. However, never feel the need to change you, yourself, to be ‘relevant’ or to be liked. You are YOU and people are going to like YOU for you, not for someone you’re trying to be. And anyway, fitting in is sooooo last century- I mean, it’s the 21st century- isn’t it better to stand out, be you and put your own stamp on something? I think so!
Being the ‘new kid’ can be a scary change but something I feel I’ve mastered pretty well. I’ve never really felt nervous being the new-be and when it got to university I was ready to embrace this big life changing event where I’d need to be independent. My mind was also at ease as EVERYONE was in the same boat. We were all the ‘new kids’ adapting to this new life change, embracing it together!
A few of my top tips for dealing with change:
1. Try to see the positives out of every situation. Even when you think there are none and the whole world seems against you. I find writing a list of pros and cons usually helps to visualise the positives.
2. Don’t be selfish. If someone close to you is making a change in attempt to better themselves or go down a new career path instead of thinking about how sad you’ll be, support them, build them up, be there for them through this change.
3. Make the effort. If a change is going to impact the contact you may have with a person, for example friendship groups parting ways when heading off to university, make the effort to contact them. Social media is a wonderful thing, a quick text and staying in contact should help to ease this big change.
4. Memories. Think about all the exciting and new memories that will be made from the change and cherish the memories you’ve made from where you may be parting from.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my thoughts on change and sorry if it’s been a ramble- I think I could write a novel about big changes!
Have you ever experienced a big change that you’ve learnt to embrace? Have you any big life changing events on the horizon? I’d love to hear in the comments below.
Also, if there’s a topic you’d like me to discuss in this series, please write them in the below or DM me over on my Instagram!
I look forward to sharing more with you on different topics!
Until next time…